Darling, Why Are You Hiding?
The perfect match that didn’t match..
2014
I’m hopping on a night bus from Tel Aviv to the country side, the bus was full of people and very dark.. some people were sleeping.
Without overlooking.. I’m asking a soldier to move her bag from the seat so I could squeeze in..
Upon hopping on my seat I ask how the soldier is doing..
I blinked once, I blinked twice.. and through the darkness my breath stops.
The soldier’s turquoize eyes are penetrating mine mercilessly.
She’s an officer, maybe 21–22 years old but who cares enough to ask boring questions to obtain useless data!? Chemistry on!
She is neat, she is smart, she is damn hot. Oh mama.
She was checking me out and didn’t understand why my shorts are so short that it looks like I wear none.. and why am I hugging my skateboard instead of placing it where bags are stored.
We were opposites..
I was a restless beach-boy traveler and she was a disciplined, sharp officer.
It was dead obvious we liked each other and the conversation never really ended..
During the chat we realized we live not only in same the village, but in the same street.. synchronicity hits again!
We jumped off the bus in the same station, we exchanged numbers..
Her daddy took her home and I prefered to skate.
Hands up!
It was the weekend and she was still home, so I seized the opportunity and offered her to go out.
Right away I could tell by her messages that she didn’t want to go out to the bars around the neighborhood and it perfectly matched my usual preferences.
I said: “Saweeeto.. far and unkown there we go!”
I told her I’d pick her up around the evening and we’d cruise together in my mama’s car.
Upon arriving to her place, which was less than 1 minute drive..
I texted her: I’m here.
She responded back: Ok park your car!
Replying: Ok..
After a few mintues she writes: Well, where are you?
Me again: Hehe.. here outside, are you coming?
She said: Come inside..
Me: Ok…
I drive into her private parking lot thinking: Is she a lil princess or something, what is that all about?
She texts: Come inside, inside the house!
Me: Cooool.. (that strange but cool)
I am knocking on the main door of the house and this adorable father opens the door: welcome :)
There are little children in the house playing.. well.. That’s a nice loving family-I think to myself..
We hung around for maybe 5–10 minutes tops.. nothing special ever took place: her father didn’t ask me anything unusual, she didn’t show me around.. I wasn’t quite sure what was the intention of the hasty visit.
We jumped in my car, she looked and smelled so nice, wow, top woman I don’t see often, and certainly not in my street.
I asked her: So what was this visit all about?
She replied: We are an open family and my family wants to see who takes me to a date, that’s all.
I said: This is actually very sweet, I like your family’s vibe.
It also made me feel special, she introduced me to her family..
And yeah, she’s undoubtedly a top good girl, that’s a very clear indication.
We drove with the wind and didn’t really care where we would ending up:
let’s go west!
It was funny spending time with her, she had what I didn’t have and I had what she didn’t have. Perfect match! (or isn’t it?)
Upon arriving to the Med sea, we were walking on a very romantic promenade.. the wind was blowing strongly, there were only few people sitting in bars, and we were on our own with the vast sea..
Things seemed to click even though she was cautious but I liked it, again.. it was expected for a good girl to take things slowly.
We were still somewhat distanced, but I didn’t mind.. Good girls take longer to trust someone, and I love the process.
She was a fine woman, pffff, the night lights of the port were sparkling in her eyes and killing me softly.
I was thinking to myself: “Well, this is a girl I can invest my time in, she’s worth it”
We were walking and walking and sitting and walking and bbbbbbbbooooooommmmmm!
We bounced into her friends, a couple..
”What are you doing here? how the hell, what coincidence… hmmm well we are just friends yes.. hmm”
She was mumbling and feeling so insecure, almost ashamed like a lil kido is caught by his mama eating forbidden sweets secretly.
We need to go home now! She assertively said.
Are you ok, did I do something wrong? I asked her
No, we just have to go home now!
How those things always happen to me, shittt..! Whispering to herself outloud..
We walked to the car, and before entering I offered her a friendly hug in case she needed one..
She declined the offer and just wanted to go home, the sooner the better.
I felt like stopping the car, asking how is she, and what was really going inside of her..
I mean, why such a lovely girl would drive so far with an awkward guy like me, but then panic when being discovered?
What is to be discovered?
I didn’t feel she was cheating or anything.. she was just awefully embarrassed… of me? of her? of dating? of being seen?
Well I dropped her at her place.. we exchanged nothing but a few messages afterwards, she unfriended me on Facebook and that’s all..
Until this very day, I have no clue what had happened that night..
But I am actually curious because I believe there is a massive lack of emotional and social intelligence/sensitivity/experience (whatever you want to call it) that is actually producing those shameful feelings.
It could be the TV, our friends, parents, spouses, officers, managers.. but if we are ever to jump above the norms, we should start to listen to each other and mainly to listen to ourselves, what is stopping us deep inside?
Could we be so gentle, warm, inviting to allow someone to open up and share those things with us?
No, it wasn’t her failure, it was mine.
At the end of the day, it was me that couldn’t be there for her..
I guess that’s the only conclusion that could give me something worthy to think about.. questioning myself.
Saturday is not a good day to forget, but a good day to remember and re-examine.
Kisses, spanks and splashes.
Awesome Saturday
Birdy
Was It just a test???
“The most loving women are the women who will test you the most. She wants you to be your fullest, most magnificent self. She won’t settle for anything less. She knows it is true of you. She knows in your deepest heart you are free, you are Shiva. Anything less than that she will torment. And, as you know, she’s quite good at it.”
― David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
