Next Train To…

Cormoran Lee
6 min readDec 28, 2019


10 steps backward for 50 forward

12 years ago I had a girlfriend, she was lovely, true lovely girl.
I had emotions for her but I wasn’t quite sure she’s the one (whatever that means)
My sister lived away and so as my papa, so me and my mother had a big countryhouse all for ourselves.
I had the second floor, view to the valley, with an orange balcony with climbing grapes to shade the hot summer sun.
It was too big, so I even brought friends over, we took 5 minutes to paint the whole wall with panda paints until they were completely finished.
It was ugly, we fooled around..

I don’t even know what am I trying to say here but let’s flow ok?
Let’s just pretend we’re sipping herbal tea together chatting in that funny balcony.

That girlfriend really enjoyed sex, she just couldn’t get enough, and at some point I got so tired of it that I just didn’t like it any more..
We were both soldiers so that meant we only had 2 days to have plenty of sex before we depart for weeks time away from each other.

She was a very handsome lady, but still something in her style bothered me, she was this classical lady with red Manhattan dresses and Japanese jewelry, something that I just never saw in my life.. but around the house she was still simple and homey..
She wanted sex and I wanted her to change clothes.
So what did we do?
We made an agreement to swap clothes for quickies.


What was going inside my brain back in the days I don’t know but that is something I’d like to reflect upon..
Those years I was amongst the most hard working soldiers in our nation, the things that I used to do during the week were probably unimaginable to most citizens and yet, I had this big floor all for myself, and this lovely girlfriend, and I was still bothered by her clothes?
I mean, how can you be crawling, fighting, eating sand for weeks, and then come home and say, naaaa I don’t like your style, and hey listen, too much sex for me.. let me rest horny, classy and sexy lady.

The Laws of Human Nature is a book I started to listen to 2 weeks ago, which I am probably going to blog A LLLLLLLLLOT about because at times, I feel it has the real key for life. Hmm why every book seems like it?! Perhaps because we don’t want to really learn our lesson.. or do we?
What am I trying to say?
We humans, are moved by so many undercurrents, but we still try to justify everything so simply or either spiritualy.
We demand ourselves to want this, do that, feel it but the human body doesn’t work such as instructions for a hair dryer nor it is animalistic as a wild hyena.

We all want to be happy, some say it is the ultimate goal of every being, and also the most collective one.. yet, why it is so difficult or isn’t it?!

I was one of the most envied humans until just a few months/years ago, because I had this, looking like this, doing that da da da.. but all these things don’t really matter- It’s all about our interpretation right?

Sailing in Africa already for a few months now, let me tell you a few ‘secrets’, some things that are maybe not so pleasant to share or let’s just put it this way- they won’t be envied.
Things you appreciate here:
1. Fresh air (no engine smoke or kitchen smells)
2. Calm seas (no rolling is already such a plus)
3. Land in sight (When all you see is blue, the desert becomes handsome)
4. Port call (To be connected to land, stable, and able to go and walk is heavenly)
Can you imagine yourself appreciating those things?
Isn’t that ridiculous?

No matter how my life will suck, you’ll never be able to truly resonate with my pain and suffering and see life through my eyes.
And no matter how the African nomads that are hungry, escaping for their lives and bearly having clarity about tomorrow? There is no chance for me to truly put myself in their shoes and enjoy what I have here which is heaven for one being but a nightmare for another.
After all, why my salary is so damn high? Nobody wants to do it.. but out of choice not pre-decided by destiny or by sheer bad luck that striked you one day.
And what if you do have the right mindset to appreciate the free little things in life? Then what? Will you go and chase success to numb what is important or will you humble down to enjoy scarcity in its best form — The mere essentials?!

So what those Greek Philosophers we’re chatting about for so many centuries?
Why do some of them wanted to celebrate their crown and some their shame?
Who is the happiest amongst the two and is there a mutual ground to not be that extreme?
If you suffer, do you need to lower your conditions and then naturally your expectations would drop then you’ll find equilibrium in less?
Or do we need to set our rockets to the skies to understand that today is the day to chase our beach houses and champagne, cheering for a luxirious and careless life?
Enough is enough or never enough?

Oh this blog is getting too long, should I stop writing because you might get tired reading it and not give me a mood-boosting ‘like’ at the end or am I just writing to reflect but not to buzz attention? What is my inner motive for that?

Do I have to organize my blog? What I feel like writing like this, just spitting words.. is ok? What if people tell me it’s not fun and not good, shall I listen to them and forget what do I appreciate about writing= The freedom of expression.

Today, actually just 2 hours ago, I went to make myself coffee.
I like my coffee big, dark and strong.
I drink coffee ceremoniously mainly before training.
It’s the highlight of the day, because it boosts my metabolism to think creatively, write expressively and then dance foolishly.
I bought some Ethiopian Coffee in Addis Ababa on the way here, I never tasted it before but I decided I am going to give it a try…
I don’t really like it, and to be honest I am just waiting for it to be over.
Today I looked at it and said, enough is enough! I will throw it to the bin and open a new sexy coffee package.
Then I held myself back and said in loud clear voice:
“It’s actually not so bad, what’s wrong with it? what’s wrong with you? Can’t you just humbly drink this coffee and relax..? How many people worked to get this coffee for you, and now you just want to throw it away because it’s not your perfect coffee that you’re so accustomed to? Some respect for the planet, some respect for the people and some respect for yourself. Because who are you if you can’t just enjoy a coffee cup and appriciate it for the quality of your thoughts but not the quality of the coffee”

Yesterday afternoon I just moved to another vessel.
*1st vessel is like a little family, everyone is together most of the time, and everyone contributes equally: There is no mama to do everything for you.
Less privacy, more noise, more cozy, more flexible but not comfortable.
* 2nd vessel is more like a floating hot tub, each one plays for his own, and there are ‘mamas’ for every department so no laundry, no dishwashing, more space, more for you.
Very interesting that comfort is enough, and extra comfort sometimes just gets you more lonely and distanced from the down to earth chores of life, people, things you care about, but only by doing those you care about them.
Because we all know already that room service doesn’t really buy us happiness so why do we keep on asking for it?

Everyone wants a sense of connection which is the most efficient amplifier of happiness for us, social animals — humans..
So why do we try to be kings of something, emotionless kings that control people for their own benefits.. and at the end, distance themselves from everything that might be important in this short life?
*A blog about that tomorrow.

I actually promised myself that in midday I will be dancing and working out.. so it is time to go and it is also a metaphor that we don’t have all the time in the world to reflect and do our homework.. life is long enough to live it fully but only if we contanstly stop, pause, play and play it better.
see you soon,



Cormoran Lee

I pour my heart involuntarily into words, since I found that writing is the ultimate solution for a nightmarish sailing journey. I can still connect with you :)