Not To Be Me To Be Me.

The dreadful process of breaking the mirror and yourself…

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Fight or Flight is the new fashion — We are all high on Cortizol and blindly killing ourselves on the biological level.

You know those water kettles that are old and broken but you still love them so everytime they get into a boiling point you need to manually turn them off? It is dangerous and a big waste of time and worries. Just like this life. JUST THROW IT AWAY! so you’ll have to get a new one!

Because a strong person at times can become so acclimatize to a certain degree of suffering and enduring that he holds onto the pain just to keep on feeling strong and loyal to himself, but that just waekens him and leaves less chances to be truly ‘in his element’.

1+1 = -2 & 1–1 = 2 Maybe just maybe I’d need to erase myself in order to become greater than myself?

“Don’t believe everything you think”

I try to imagine a person hanging on a cliff with 1 hand, barely holding on. Another person that is standing on the edge is screaming: I love you, just hold on there and I am coming for you. The hanging person is drained out of energy and doesn’t respond nor collaborate, but he feels like climbing back on his own because he lost his trust and he doesn’t have the patience nor the humility to ask for help, so at the end he falls by trying too hard, just when the help was around. but he just couldn’t believe the other person really cared for him and all he wanted was to reach a hand.

The biggest door arrived and I wasn’t sure if it’s time to kick it. Let’s kick it anyway!

Open conclusion: If so many unsolved issues are already up in the air, should we go and continue digging to see what is the deeper problem beneath the surface? (oh, we found dog’s poo, so surprising)

Not us that day unfortunately.

Not my cup of tea (‘Not my beach’ in Portuguese)

Lots of self-talk is already a very clear indication for an uncontainable mess inside our shrinking heads!

*The absolute opposite of ‘Flow’.

Big babies cry, play, sleep, eat and cuddle in between. Where is the baby’s ceremony — sounds like fun right? But no, we don’t have time to be immature and to go backwards because we are now about to raise our consciousness and step into being our own masters. Hmmmmmm.

Whatever that is, I’m coming in with my disco shoes. So watch out nasty DJ.

Imagine that you and your friends invsted a weekend to play golf somewhere. Upon arriving to the golf course you realize the organizer didn’t make sure there are golf balls. So you try to find on your own balls that flew ‘off course’, so you end up wasting hours going through the bush, getting mosquito bites and mentally agitated. After collecting enough balls you could finally go back and try to enjoy the fun weekend. Good luck.

Are you kidding me, no seriously?! Swimming pools, ‘Made in China’ construction and Hindu gods? What the f*ck?!?!

Am I allowed to cry, to rest, to feel truly vulnerable, to change what’s not working? To take my hat off, to say I love you, to say forgive me, to say I need your help, to say I am wrong, to fight for what I believe, to say something different out of my own solid and salty box that’s floating in the depths of the oceans for some time now….

Cape Town, Crayfish factory, the place I used to start my swims and feel deeply in my element.

Well, history is history and now is now. life is too short anyway to over-contemplate everything.



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Cormoran Lee

I pour my heart involuntarily into words, since I found that writing is the ultimate solution for a nightmarish sailing journey. I can still connect with you :)