The Forbidden Fruit
Non, Je ne regrette rien…..
…
.
Take 1
I am on a bus from Frankfurt to Rotterdam.. reading a book. It’s late and the bus is dark.
A girl stands up and walks to the toilet. A curious guy like me enjoys socializing and observing the peeps around.. but that one.. what’s going on?! ;)
That one, she was glowing. But nothing fancy at all: 0 make up, normal clumsy clothing, but something in the way….
I didn’t want to rip a paper of my journal so I sacrificed my chocolate bar’s package (Lindt 90%) for a spontaneous letter trying to communicate with this passing angel in the scarce social atmosphere/reasons on the boring bus ride.
I handed it over to her and escaped for my seat.. wasn’t sure if she was banged by this act ,puzzled or maybe even flettered.
In a minute or two I recieved a whatsapp message:
Hello! Thanks for that sweet card, I have never gotten anything like that and I am amazed that you took the chance to write me such a lovely letter — so thank you!
My name is _____ and I am on my way to visit my boyfriend in the Netherlands. So, sorry but I am not interested in that way. But I wish a wonderful trip through Europe and please keep that attitude of making the best out of each moment in life. Greetings!
We started a chit chat.. nicey nice.. nothing special.
On my way out of the bus I came to shake her hand and say goodbye.. our eyes were sparkling, we were both in goosebumps.
I was amazed to see what kind of random encounters can appear when taking ridiculous acts of spontaneity.
Where this is heading?
Not far apparently..
After swapping brief messages for a month or so.. exchanging stories and fun pics.. there was a connection.. I remember her profile picture- holding a flower.. is she living in the 1920'? She paints her clothing at home and she makes all kind of small things just like the digital world weren’t present in our lives.. the energy was pure.. something real.. something simple.. She is different and I am falling..
Everytime I visited the clubs of Amsterdam or Tel Aviv, Carnival in Brazil.. I was thinking to myself.. where can I find some more of that? some more of that angel kind of thing..
“The market is full of so many fruits but I am not starving, I’m feeling like eating the highest fruit on the tree, unreachable, unedible and perhaps even unreal?”
One day she told me we cannot continue chatting. I said sorry, thank you, bye bye.
Humming to myself.. wondering.. is this the end?
Take 2
Flipping through my phone’s memory.. 6 months later.. standing in a crossroads in my life.. a very difficult one.
Let’s drop a message to that ‘bus girl’ since she was supposed to travel in my continent (Latin America)
Oh mama Latina! Fantastic news appear on my screen: She’s in France, single and exploring life. Well.. troublesomoves here we go!
Guess who’s coming to France? Yeah baby it’s me.. is it sheer luck or synchronicity?
We shall see..
After a skype call kind of trial, swapping some voice messages.. it was all very clear we like each other.
My life was a mess of logistics at that time (still haha) and hopping between The Middle East, Africa, L. America and Europe was a very exahusting sexy lifestyle. (did I just say sexy? I take it back)
One day I looked at myself and said.. you deserve some fresh breeze (when was my last vacation? can’t remember) you’ll never be ready to go.. just book that flight ticket.. you’ve been craving for this a long time now.. so I bought a ticket for the next day and I had only a bunch of hours to prepare myself.
Since I was preparing for a solo cycling trip of 1000km, I needed to pack wisely and rapidly.
Packed on my way to the airport and feeling a gust of relief in my oceanic heart.. begging for the wild breeze to wash away the logistics of life and bring some ‘wild puppiness’.. can’t be so serious so structured so long.. I’m a bird after all.
OUTTAMYWAY……. YOOOOHOOOOO!
Take 3
Cycling through France.. my heart is bouncing like a rabbit, my brain rests on my body like a prehistorical boulder.. doing nothing but paddling and listening in loops to boring French tapes from the 90's..camping, eating, peeing and other nature necessaties.
And I am dreaming to myself.. dreaming whether I’ll get the chance to see the bus girl.. she is so cool.. I have to see what was it all about right?!
As I’m cycling southwesterly & she is approaching and jumping from one city to another.. I am thinking to myself.. oh lala.. this is not far.. 2 hours drive is RIGHT HERE when we usually speak about continents apart..
Half dead on my way south.. arriving to the biggest most romantic sand dune I have ever seen in my life.
At the end.. she couldn’t make it..(could she, it doesn’t matter) so I found myself rolling and climbing in the sand alone late at night.. wowow.. that was something.. #puppyjoyjoy
I had a mission, my cycling trip.. how flexible did I dare to be.. not sure? but one thing I knew, I wanted to see that bus girl!
Arriving to Biarritz half zombie half the happiest person on earth..
Getting to my friends place that run a hostel (Nami House) and meeting so many beautiful Swiss young blondes.. hmmm why am I thinking about the bus girl when the market is over loaded and it’s the cherries season anyway!?
I guess it’s a sign! Cormoran, you finally know what you want, do you?
But why dreaming about a far away woman when all the women are here?
(a woman I don’t really know)
Is it stupidity or is it my heart calling the shots now?
There is something about FOMO that I am learning to recognize in myself.. It does only harm.. it’s pointless because at the end you allow your wild urge to take over but ultimately, the real and deep emotions are the ones to create long lasting inner stability and satisfaction. So why trying to conquer the whole world.. just go with your heart, your intuition, it’s good enough, it’s you, it’s the real you speaking to you.. listen and follow.. it’s not quantity it’s quality.
To arrive from extensive amounts of time in Africa (not allowed/able to be with women) and seeing those European young adventurers surfing in the South of France is like waking up Michael Jackson from the grave to give us another moon walk dancing disco! Would he be thrilled? Hell yeah!
Just beat it beat it beat it beat it beat it… :) (hahah a personal note)
“It’s not sugarcoating beauty but raw heart surgery”
Arriving to Paris after a wild trip.. deciding to do ‘in your face’ kind of thrill and send a very clear video about my thoughts, intentions and plans.
I don’t believe in games and miscommunications even though it’s one of the best tricks to increase your value and create mystery.. It’s not in my tool box since it’s immoral as I see it. (And why wasting someone’s time hey?)
Honesty, humility and openness.. what about some of that hey? If you trick the wrong person you’ll make it through, but if you try to trick the right person, that person will flee away because real people don’t mess around, they are real, present and respectful.
Do we really want to fish the wrong partner? naaaa
Meeting my sort of x/sort of very good friend in Paris was such a good reminder of what to be appreciated in a partner.. She just opened herself out there in our half French half English conversation around the streets of Paris.. skating around, lauging sometimes and even stopping to share some big subjects that were still disturbing maybe behind the scenes.. things that our hearts just wanted to understand better.. and now the friendship is so much mature, more ripe, more right.. it feels good.. it felt so easy and light, that I could just stay over her place and feel like best friends.. not needing to be awkward about it or feeling like it’s strange or false.. just being friends.. but that was only possible after speaking our hearts out.. brushing the bottom of it.. leaving no rubbish behind.. no unspoken words and unclarity.. “The aquarium is clean, you can see the fish”.. when your friend/ex partner or whatever gets this openness and the rawness of you.. she/he lets go of useless armour and become the best for you. what a pleasure to be there for someone.
You have no idea how much I love and proud of you!
In a world of millions fancy fake Parisians, you remained down to earth and simply awesome! You deserve the best. You’re the best! Bisous!
She told me today: “I have no secrets” Now this is rear and not because she said it but because I freaky believe her.
Take 4
Fastforward, flying to Canada and back to France..
Having 0 doubt about taking the risk (whatever that means in the modern world) and deciding, I am going to make the extra effort to travel far away to see the bus girl..
There is superstitious belief I hold onto.. it says that the most worthwhile things in life are a reward of ridiculously couragous and spontaneous acts. It’s not that everything in life needs to be hard and cause suffering.. but.. just understanding that no one is going to give you free candies in life and sometimes it’s time to do the unreasonable to make something happen, so stretch the limits of what is recommended or what makes sense.. shut up common sense, out of the way..
“the kido wants to play! play in falling in love and falling hard or flying high or whatever.. let’s go, flying balloon, no rope.. see yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
Flying to Paris, Metro ride, walking, running a bit because I am late (because I took 10 minutes to cut my hair in the street), hopping on my BlaBlaCar, taking the train, another train, taking the bus, getting on the ferry.. and taking a big breath.. oh lala, getting to Belle Ile en Mer is quite a rough ride.
Meeting a new friend on the ferry, we started swapping ideas, experiences and stories..
At one point she asked me what am I here for….
I told her something like: I actually don’t know, never heard of this island and I don’t really know that girl I traveled far away to see/meet/whatever is on the menu today!>?%@# haha
The daydreaming starts suddenly.. Am I in a movie/a comic/a gallery?
All the elements start to blend as the boat bursts with a nasty loud horn that wakes up the chilled fishermen from their evening frappuccino and scares away the seagulls….
I look for the bus girl in the crowd.. or the yellow car she came with.. since we couldn’t communicate I wasn’t sure if she’ll be there.. and I wasn’t 100% of how she looks like.. you know when you have a few ideas in your mind of how someone looks like but all the options are valid.. ;)
Through the wet and blurry window I noticed an outstanding human.. it was her or was it her?
Everyone seems to look like a distraction as I am trying to zoom in with my birds eye.. It’s her. oh my gravity!
My heart beat paces up as I…
She is tanned, natural, simple.. GLOWING without even trying.. wearing faded colors of pink and brown.. 0 make up, 0 superficial additions..loose hair blowing in the wind.. beauty of my kind.. looks real, feels good.. my inner magent goes off as I understand it’s time to go and wake up into this dream I was cooking for a long time.. oopsy, it wasn’t the recipe.. bon appétit!
Take 5
Hello you bus girl! You’re real! Let me just hug you to know it’s not a dream. Damnnnnnn
Being picked up by a tiny yellow car, the bus girl was the driver.. going through the castels of the island, it’s near sunset and skies are grey and blue.. the energy is smooth as it should be.. flowing into a nameless adventure.. Everything is so simple yet picturesque, I am falling in love with this moment and I could freeze it and just observe.. how life again turned into such a beautiful surprise.. ;)
After a 10 minutes we arrive at our host’s house on the wild side of the island.. the strong Atlantic breeze.
Our host wasn’t even at home, but the bus girl hooked us on Couchsurfing with this champion of a dude.. so chilled — he left us his house for an unlimited time + Stand up paddle + yellow car + whatever we want.. :) absolutely ridiculous!
A funky family lives in his garden in a camper van.. 2 kids 1 dog and the father.. When I arrived they were making a bonfire and playing with dinner.. I recieved bear hugs and kisses from my new family like I was some sort of Santa Clause.. (I mean a lotttttttttttttttt of kisses, something that reminds me of a grandma raping you with love when you’re under 10 years old)
Such a funny situation to be in.. like what is going on in here? I look around and just can’t figure it out.. but it feels like home, it feels right, it feels exactly what I love to feel. Thanks to the people making that atmosphere possible in a terribly special island.
The bus girl offered to go check out the beach.. so off we went walking through the forest and arriving with the stars..
Walking through.. Talking through.. Following up..
Diving deep right away into deep topics, skipping small talks.. jumping, falling, crawling.. sand dune, low trees, low keys, freestyle.. listening, observing.. getting to know each other.. show me your ass (ass=core) not your make up face.. The roots baby the roots, re-plant those roots, I am water not fire.
As the freestyling got strange so as the conversation.. After all it’s so easy to meet on a sunny beach of Palma de Mallorca and sip cocktails until our smiles will be spread on our faces like Ferrero Rocher in its golden package.
Making love in a double honeymoon suit. Not today sugardaddy!
But to create a real connection takes great courage to get low, to get on your knees, to get naked.. allowing one to penetrate and impact.. (no, I am not talking about monkey sex) or do we want to play it cool and make an impression that doesn’t allow us intimacy? A place where we could be vulnerable?
Maybe I don’t know what I am talking about, but hey I am trying to figure it out.. because it should be natural, easy, breezy.. too many questions to many hesitations are already on a crash course.
Skipping forward.
Play.
Pause.
Dinner.
Shower.
Upstairs.
Bed time.
Rosemary + clove tea, lots of tea.
Two bedrooms.
1 book.
Invitation.
Reading time.
Talking.
Cuddling?
Stop.
Touching.
Hugging.
Not touching.
Not talking.
Falling asleep. (Her)
Looking at the cieling and wondering… (Me)
Hmmmm.. snail pace, respect, space.
Be gentle.
Be centered. Don’t fall for the hasty trap. And even if you were, that’s not fulfilling. It’s throwing bananas in the cage and it’s gone. sometimes it’s fun, sometimes it’s enough, sometimes it’s even awesome and nice to be troublesome, but not today, hold the horse from try to compete.. it’s running in circles. Running in circles means someone is paying you money to run or you are fed with expectations.. but why running? Why running blindfolded and getting to somewhere your heart never marked on the map.. the map was printed in your office, some boss prints something, and something becomes your something. Stop foolish. Relax and sip some more tea with no sugar and try to enjoy the bitterness of its essence. The clove reminds me an Indian sipping some tea in the street and giggles to himself.. having 0 property 0.2 belongings 0.3 purpose but 9.5 peace of mind.. just naturally.. but not trying to overlap goals or score too many girls.
Little fairy tail, one week, go!
Here we go waking up, too late..next to each other.. I am looking left, I am looking right.. what is this place and who’s that girl on my left side?
Is she a friend or a hook up? or a future sister as I like to say…
It doesn’t really matter because it’s so awesome sometimes to be surprised from our own actions that we do not recognize reality. The consquences are ridiculous and that’s amusing ;)
Grabbing our skateboards and riding to the main town of the island.
It’s about 5–8 km and the ride is absolutely stunning.. the road is smooth and people are down to earth.. not beeping for us pimping but just allowing us to enjoy cruising.. how refreshing. Paris — You are fired!!!
As I skate regularly for a few years now.. and I damnnnnnn love it so much that I get too excited and I skate too fast like if it were a sport exercise like sprinting or so..
So usually I don’t skate with other people in the same pace.. but this one — a beginner was smashing the roads and keeping the pace.. I am looking around me and I just can’t capture this moment in life..
This gorgeous creature is skating next to me on a French island and she is faster than me.. like what really, what is that?
With all the exhilaration rushing in my blood stream something in the energy didn’t feel right.. she was smiling and glowing, laughing, opening up.. sharing stories, having the blast.. but she was blocked.. or blocking me.. or just closed, or protective or whatever.. but I knew that something is not totally ‘red roses’ as it seems from the outside, superficially.
We wanted to collect shells so we could decorate the house of our host.. I slided on a rope to the port between the boats and was throwing shells and stuff over the high wall to the bus girl.. we were laughing awfully, eating cherries and attracting people to ask: “Qu’est-ce qui se passe ici? :)”
Yeah I know, it sucks to read French.
….
Well, we shall find out. No room for I should have known, should have done, should have said.. Dracula is on my neck telling me, hey.. life is short and I am just about to finish your story so please do your best.. because it will be such a massive pity for me to see you going home not knowing what had happened here? ok, shoot Cupid shoot!
I was about to come for only 2–3 days and get to Hamburg to meet my German gang that I always prioritize when travelling around Europe..
But big butts, travelling to the island was exhausting and expensive that I thought to myself.. hmmm I should better stay and smash the festival in the weekend.. Somehow it always happens to me.. I get to places in the ‘best time’ when things are happening.. but to be honest.. it is just confusing me… and I find myself sometimes just wishing to paddle in a storm in the middle of the night. Ah ha! (Why should I feel that way? Because life is just overwhelming at times.. I wasn’t sure I want to party or stay with the bus girl.. I was all mixed up)
That day, I allowed myself to forget about plans and to forget about time.. I am here.. and let’s see what happens. After all, this experience was spicy sweet and I was overwhelmed by the pictursque sensations during the day.. Everything was part of a dream and deep inside I didn’t really do that to ever finish even tough my intentions and reality weren’t fully aligned.
It became dark.. we’ve been too long out, chatting next to the fortress, visiting a photography gallery and meeting random peeps in the beautiful streets..
Some of the gallery was presented around the island.. such simple beauty.
Arriving home, fast dinner, coffee break, changing clothes, high-fiving, let’s go.
We drove to the lighthouse on the edge of the island.. it was the last moment of light in the day.. We took the stand up paddle, walked to the little bay where approaching the water was ok .. Our host told us that the SUP can take as much as 100k — Easy calculation we were easily 140k and that didn’t bother nor stop us..
Immersing the water and starting to paddle into the darkness.. The tiny bit of light was still making it possible to see how ridiculously clear the water were.. we could see the bottom easily..
The north side of the island is fully protected from the waves, currents and winds so it was such a romantic ride.. aiming generally to the next shicky shicky port which was a few kilometers away.. (but we didn’t really know how far hah)
Chill dark evening, paddling in nowhere, talking about life, me and her.
The feeling was so smooth.. the ocean was so kind, especially at night.. so much noise on land, especially mainland.. there, we were on our own.. paddling..drifting.. cruising.. I was wondering if it’s a good moment to kiss her, against the odds.. but I decided I am letting go of it.
In the middle of the ride.. after 1 hour perhaps.. the bus girl started to hesitate and wanted to go back.. she said: We are not sure where we are, how long it will last and if we’re actually going to make it.
I tried to calm her down and distract her with fun oceanic stories.. mainly about letting go of the destination and allowing yourself to drift into the unknown.. Cocktail on a sunny beach tomorrow? Na ah ah, I rest my case.
Let’s see where your mind is starting to wrestle and take control over its nonesense.. it’s the greatest joy and the water do not allow you to ‘fu#%ck yourself with rubbish, it’s pure, it’s clean, it’s naked. Go figure, bothered creature.
30–40 mintues later.. we start to see a strange light..
It’s not constant as a building or lighthouse and it’s slightly moving..
Whoop! another one.. doing the same thing..
Wow! a third and fourth one! It is funny ;)
What the hell in heavens is this???
When we approached a little bit more and we saw maybe 20 of them.. we realized it’s sailing vessels’ night light… they were giggling in the darkness like it’s the best show in town.. especially for us.
Of course it was special for us, it meant we arrived to our destination.
As we got closer, our hearts relaxed, the worried intonations swap to cheerful comments and we couldn’t believe we made it..
As we row between the yachts and enjoying the noctunal culture of this cozy port in summer time.. I think to myself: “It doesn’t get more romantic than this, it doesn’t”
We left our car next to the lighthouse.. so we had to run all the way back, half wet, barefoot, thrilled and in love with life but not with each other? hmmm
Take 6
Fast forward..
The experiences never ended.. skating, fooling around, cooking amazing dinners, books reading late at night next to each other, site seeing around the island.. visiting different beaches..
Sometimes I disappeared to be on my on.. paddling into the uknown, perhaps chasing after my vital biological sensations and being chased by emotional confrontations in the ‘real world’.. the further, the more dangerous — the more is was effective.. but coming back home and going to sleep in the same bed with this angel left me so wonderfully confused.. She stayed in my bedroom even though she had her own private room? Whyyyy oh whyyyy? I am asking myself everyday…
One evening just had to go on my own.. I walked to the beach with the SUP and entered the cozy beach.. it was windy and the ocean got angrier.
I didn’t care.. I checked the currents and winds by seeing where the SUP is being pulled to.. then, I was kissing the skies and randomly taking it to right..
The south coast is very cliffy, windy and unexpected.. but that was exactly what I was looking for, finally, for once, in months, be in my element and make love to my ocean, maybe the only one that can contain me or maybe it’s that can contain her? hmmm hours of paddling without sand in sight, I arrived at the last moment of light to a small secret beach with waves and joined that bunch of motivated surfers that wanted to squeeze every second of surf into the daylight dose of fun making love falling with the sweet salty ocean.
The skies turned black and a storm hit the island.. I thought about running back and hiding my board in the bush, but the instructor was extremely kind to drive me home, wet, exhausted, and liberated from first world problems — my strange love story.
One day I called her and wanted to talk, we sat on the bedroom floor like kids and talk like adults whatever that means.
I explained her that I respect her so much and that’s why I should be opening up and share my emotions and thoughts instead of guessing and erring and perhaps hurting her.. becasue my natural default is no limits.. but when it concerns another person.. we should always remember that it’s not only about us now.
Being respectful in romantic relationships 70% (very random) of the times surpasses the wild urge to do something.. the art of love is to align the two so none conflicts the other and emotions can rush effortlessly with no second thoughts, worries or holding back from living it fully out there.. tick tock.. we can’t and shouldn’t wait forever to learn or to win something indirectly.. our actions are the compasses of our reality.
I stay in my room.
She leaves my room.
And everything else stays the same.
Take 7
Music festival in a fortress in the main town of the island it’s called Belle Ile on Air.
Festival’s video click here (If you’d click you’re probably going to find yourself there next year ;)
First night.
Dressed up.
Caffeine in my blood.
Alcohol in her blood.
Car’s battery is dead.
Skateboard booties are alive than ever.
Headtorch.
Night Skate.
Smooth road.
I am on fire.
The sensations running in my body are something inexplicable.
After suffering for years of stress and burden.. finally cruising in the most liberated island, in the most romantic moment this life can produce..
We’re skating at night, hormones are boosted to every body part and the breeze is pushing us behind because there is a massive storm in the ocean today.
Hitchhike? just for the laugh of it.. drop us here.. 500 meters afterwards we continue skating..
This whole dead battery thing bacame the highlight of the night..
It’s late, we’re late for the festival.. but really, who gives a #$%&&(%&(#$?
Hiding our skateboards in the bush, peeing in the bush, laughing, my arm on her shoulder and we’re pimping our way to the festival.
The music is too good.
Can’t stop dancing.
Can’t stop sweating.
Can’t stop falling in love.
Can’t stop can’t stop can’t stop.
Flying too high.
Again.
Flying too high.
Am I allowed to rest?
Should I rest?
Do I want to rest?
I am high and I am looking on my right hand side.. The bus girl is smiling..
She is so high..
She is getting closer to me as I am getting closer to her..
We’re synchronized..
It feels right..
It feels like love..
It feels just right..
Should I go for it?
We’re dancing face to face just 30c away..
Is she to make the first sign?
Or the guy always have to attack?
Is it actually to attack?
What is my goal tonight?
What is my goal in life?
What my role model of the year of 2019 would do right now?
What my higher self would tell me to do right now?
What higher self? The child or the adult?
Or is it about luck, or good timing or flowing..
Is it about not giving a fuc$% and just dancing?
Why do I ask myself so many questions?
Too many things on the menu and I am already so confused?!
So many girls start to approach me and give me compliments about my dancing spirit and fun attitude.. do they hit on me?
Am I available?
What does it mean to be available?
Do I want to make love to all the girls in the world before getting stuck on a boat in Africa a month later?
Should I wait for the bus girl to let go of her armour and show her desire for me? or is it my mind cheating reality and creating false stories?!
Should I listen to my heart and focus on the love I cannot actualize?
Crossroads of values in the crossroads of life..
And I am dancing.. Dancing harder..
More compliments.. too many..
Too many beautiful girls..
Too many hesitations..
Too many good songs..
I can’t stop dancing..
I can’t stop thinking..
I am wet..
Sweating..
There is a storm coming now..
Everyone is wet..
I dance some more..
And some more..
Meeting two girls, they laugh with me, they come to sleep in our garden in the ‘Couchsurfers tent’. Whatever…
And what do I want to write in this blog.. because the story is not over..
There are so many funky things and painful moments and good songs and rainbows to share…
But what is the purpose of this piece of writing..
A peace of mind is to be restored..
The consequences are long gone behind the relevancy of this night.
The relevancy of this writing..
Lessons are to be hand-picked.
Life is to be enhanced by small tweaks and shifts.
Take 8 9 whatever..
Back in Africa.
Looking behind my shoulder.
The bus girl is gone.
The experience is gone.
Life continues..
And we?
Do we learn our lesson?
Do we repeat the same mistakes?
what is actually the mistake?
Is there something wrong.. or life is just this endless ride of ups and bumps?
One thing I know.. the heart should lead..
It might fall, it might explode, it might break into small pieces..
It will cry, it will sing, it will pop and lock and stop and drop.
But it’s ok.. the heart doesn’t make sense nor as blogging..
Art, love- such big words!
Should we turn them into a set of rules or just flow with them..
Who we are is who we are.. climbing, tripping, but staying heart-minded or mind-hearted or whatever.. but not logically following the limited beliefs of our own and negative or disappointing experiences we’ve been through…
We should be proud to go and dive deeper into an uknown world.. where things don’t make sense and the heart feels.. the heart is alive.. that means that you’re still in this planet doing your best.
A volcano erupts, a new island is born, it’s you, a better you.
Should we not wish to be stuck on a sofa in a mediocre evening with a mediocre partner because we were afraid to trial again?
I don’t know about you.. but I am going back to the storm.. am I stupid/brave both or none…?
She might still be sitting there, smoking the freshest breeze I’ve ever felt in my life.. It was painful.. broken heart.. or it is just heart-body-building again and getting stronger and bigger but more open and valnurable so I could become a better lover and a better father.. someone who feels deeper, someone who sees further and someone who teaches from the bottom to top and not showing medals and trophies and saying did this been there.. nonesense.
Kids, let’s go and play on the cliffs of life.. she might be waiting for us there.
Or maybe just another lesson to be learned?!
Should we risk to fall or fall apart at home crying for the things we never dare to do,
to say,
to play,
to live,
to outlive,
to surpass common sense,
to feel unsafe for the sake of true inner treasures life wrappes with complexed problems as a ticking bomb in our shaking hands?!
Non, Je ne regrette rien.
*The song we used to sing in loops everyday after dinner with the kids of the house, suprisingly it is also the main feeling of this blog =
No, I don’t regret anything.
